New Rules: Funny for the Day

New Rule:

Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,

blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better

description for these kids:.... lucky bastards.



New Rule:

If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards,

you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your

idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.



New Rule:

There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle

of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery

taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You

want flavored water? Pour some Jack Daniels over ice and let

it melt. That's your flavored water.



New Rule:

The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the

asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande

half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread

cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one

NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.



New Rule and this one is long overdue:

No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is

offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George

Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just

some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam,

dude. I just want to wash my hands.



New Rule:

Stop sending me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com ! There's a

reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't

particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain

of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.



New Rule:

Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless

you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human

finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less

than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily,

it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have

voted to keep it alive.



New Rule:

Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't

make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And

it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did

anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant.

You're not spiritual. You're just high.



New Rule:

Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly

sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating,

because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too

damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait.

They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."



New Rule:

I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms,

I'll go nuts and eat two.





New Rule:

If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old

television shows, when you have to give everyone in the Cineplex

a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's

remember the reason something was a television show in the first

place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.



New Rule:

No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for

weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from

rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy

it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of

looting.



New Rule:

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in

months: "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not

cheese. And I didn't care in the first place.

Something that sparkles today

Here is the new glitter clip :)

Reunited... and it feels so good!

Don't even pretend that your inner 12 year old isn't going 'SQUEEEEEE' right this moment!

NKOTB is back!

20 Best Lists

Nik-

20 Best Movies:
The Mighty
Moulin Rouge
Love Actually
The Princess Bride
The Neverending Story
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Center Stage
Disney’s Aladdin
Clerks
Memoirs of a Geisha
Newsies
Dream for an Insomniac
Empire Records
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
The Goonies
Four Weddings & a Funeral
Hackers
Mansfield Park
Stranger than Fiction
What Dreams May Come

20 Best Songs:
Take On Me by A-Ha
Every Breath You Take by The Police
Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
Glory of Love by Peter Cetera
Everything I Do by Bryan Adams
Broken Wings by Mr. Mister
Fly Like an Eagle by The Steve Miller Band
Crash into Me by The Dave Matthews Band
Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
If I had a $1,000,000 by Barenaked Ladies
Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Bedingfield
Home by Deep Blue Something
Close My Eyes by Jordan Knight
Lovestoned/I Think She Knows by Justin Timberlake
Read My Mind by The Killers
It’s Over by Lisa Loeb
Little Black Backpack by Stroke 9
Landslide by The Smashing Pumpkins
This Is How a Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas

20 Best Books:
Melusine by Sarah Monette
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
Empress Orchid by Anchee Min
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Ill Wind by Rachel Caine
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
The Compass Rose by Gail Dayton
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
Kushiel’s Avatar by Jacqueline Carey
The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop
The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Talyn by Holly Lisle
Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
Coraline by Neil Gaiman
His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik
On Fire’s Wings by Christie Golden

20 Best Musical Artists:
The Police
Sting
Justin Timberlake
Barenaked Ladies
Lisa Loeb
No Doubt
Gwen Stefani
Bree Sharp
Deep Blue Something
Daniel Bedingfield
Linkin Park
Stroke 9
Timbaland
Weezer
Imogen Heap
Bryan Adams
The Beetles
The Cars
Phil Collins
The Killers

20 Best Things to Cheer You Up
My Kids
Swings
Books
Laughter
Jigsaw Puzzles
Bookstores
Video Games
Learning Something New
Creating Something New
Cleverness
Cats
Internet
Music
Geeks/Nerds
Completing a Task
Meeting my Budget
Movie Theatre
Finding it in the right size, right style at the right price
Daydreaming
A Good Debate

20 Best Things to Do on a Rainy Day
Movie-a-Thon
Read a Book
Do a Puzzle
Scrapbook
Board Games
Video Games
Legos!
Bake
Coloring Books
Take a Bath
Dance
Write
Internet
Draw/Trace
Research Family Tree
Learn Something
Create Something
Daydream
Play Pretend w/Kids
Take a Nap

20 Best Foods to Devour
Biscuits
Toast
Brownies
Salmon
Mongolian Beef
Grapes
Cranberry Sauce
Nachos
Cottage Cheese
Shrimp Linguine Alfredo
Cheese Fondue
Crab Wontons
Eggdrop Soup
Waffles
Swedish Crepes
Quiche
Blackberry Cobbler
Calamari
Ham & Cheese Omelette
Fruit Salad

Val-

20 Best Movies:
Hope Floats
Memoirs of a Geisha
How to Lose a guy in ten days
Beauty and the Beast
Garden State
Brokedown Palace
Marie Antoinette
The Breakfast Club
The Prince and Me
Meet me in St. Louis
Life as a house
Dirty Dancing
Willy wonka and the Chocolate Factory
10 things I hate about you
You’ve Got Mail
16 candles
Edward Scissorhands
Down with Love
Nightmare before Christmas
Pretty in Pink

20 Best Songs:
Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter
Dreams by the Cranberries
Maneater by Nelly Furtado
The Dance by Garth Brooks
Come away with me by Norah Jones
Stay by Lisa Lobe
Bittersweet Symphony by the Verve
1-2-3-4 By Fiest
Cable Car by the Fray
Somebody like you by Keith Urban
Silence by Delirium
1979 By the Smashing Pumpkins
Damaged by Plumb
Deliver me By Sarah Brightman
You get what you give By New Radicals
Gravity by John Mayer
Material Girl by Madonna
Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls
Name by the Goo Goo Dolls
What if you by Josh Radin
Hallelujah Sung by Rufus Wainwright
Let Go by Frou Frou
New Slang by the Shins
Don't Panic By Coldplay
Caring is Creepy by the Shins
In the Waiting Line by Zero 7
Breathe Me by Sia
Such Great Height By the Postal Service
Livin’ On love by Alan Jackson
Roam by the B-52’s
The Way I am by Ingrid Michaelson
Valerie Loves me by Material Issue

20 Best Books:
Most in which are or have been on the banned book list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banned_books
1. Tuesday with Morrie
2. Catcher in the Rye
3. Virgin Suicides
4. Bright lights, Big City
5. Running with Scissors
6. Harley Like a Person
7. The Five people you meet in Heaven
8. For one more day
9. Running with Scissors
10. The Red Tent
11. Memoirs of a Geisha
12. Crazy
13. To Kill a mockingbird
14. I know why the cages bird sings
15. Oh, the Places you will go (and all the little Dr. Seuss books)
16. Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
17. Summer of the Monkeys
18. Where the Red Fern Grows
19. The Greatest Salesman in the World
20. A night without Armor


20 Best Musical Artists:
Justin Timberlake
Lisa Loeb
Imogen Heap
The Killers
Madonna
Norah Jones
John Mayer
Death Cab for Cutie
Coldplay
U2
Tim McGraw
Sarah McLachlan
The Fray
Frank Sinatra
Ben Folds
Matchbox 20
Madeleine Peyroux
The Wreckers
Rascal Flatts
The Cranberries

20 Best Things to Cheer You Up
1. Bookstores
2. Scrapbooking
3. Playing on the Internet
4. Listening to Music
5. Reading a Magazine
6. Learning
7. Coloring
8. Traveling and planning to travel
9. Laying in Bed
10. Going to Tea
11. Going Downtown
12. Journaling
13. Cooking
14. Going out Dancing
15. Movies
16. Mark
17.A good find at a vintage or thrift store
18. Vera Bradley Garb
19. Shopping
20. Cocktails

20 Best Things to Do on a Rainy Day
1. Watch a movie
2. Have a movie marathon on one particular actor/ actress
3. Read a Book
4. Cut things out of magazines and make Collages
5. Scrapbook
6. Bake and take my time cooking
7. Color
8. Take a Bubble Bath
9. Write a letter
10. Write in my journal
11. Surf the Internet
12. Take a Nap
13. Have Tea
14. Take a Walk
15. Organize my computer music library
16. Work on my quilt
17. Organize my house
18. Read through Cookbooks
19. Play in the Rain
20. Play Cards

20 Best Foods to Devour
1. Angel Food Cake
2. Strawberries
3. Cereal
4. Sushi
5. Cheetos
6. Brownies
7. Nachos
8. Fondue (cheese and Chocolate)
9. Crab Cheese Wontons
10. Egg rolls with Sweet and Sour Sauce
11. Most Italian Food
12. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
13. Little Tea Sandwiches and Pastries
14. Scones
15. Ice Cream
16. Breads, Muffins and cakes
17. Chai
18. Mexican food (burritos, cheese enchiladas, Soft Tacos)
19. Steak Fajitas
20. Reece’ Pieces and Peanut Butter Cups

Recommended Read: Twilight

I don't know how many readers out there enjoy Young Adult novels, but I like to mix some of the better ones in with my adult reading.

Having heard tons of teenage feedback for this book, I felt compelled to read it. There are loyal readers who obsess with the story on a 'harry potter-esque' kind of level. So, naturally, I had to see what the fuss was all about.

I truly enjoyed this novel. It's written about high school teenagers, but doesn't read 'down' like a lot of kid's books do. It didn't feel like a teen novel while I was reading it and the characters really gripped me in a way that is fairly rare.

Vampire novels are getting kind of old, as well as werewolves and other shapeshifters, in my opinion. And it's extremely difficult to approach it from an original angle. But I felt the author did a fantastic job pulling me in and keeping me there until the very last page.

So, now I'm passing the word to you.

Distracted by Major Tom

Most times we are distracted by sparklies, but this time it was Major tom and the acquisition of this song for our music collections. The trusted sources in the past (itunes and yahoo music) had failed us for the original, unremixed version of this song. We took matters into our own hands. We went and bought this CD from www.amazon.com.

Yes, As random as it might be (and what else would you expect, really!) we spent our Monday afternoon dancing joyfully with our purchase!

This song came from " The Different Story (world of lust and crime) cd by Peter Schilling.

Wikihow.com

http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page
Have ever wondered how to eat with chopsticks, wash dishes on a camping trip or how about how to stop being a people pleaser? Well Wikihow.com has the how-tos on all of that! Check out the article on:

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Do you habitually give in to other people because you just can't stand the thought of upsetting them? Do you put your needs to one side because you get a buzz from someone else's happiness, only to find that he or she is not a bit grateful? If so, you are a classic "people pleaser," and you are, in all probability, not getting what you want out of life. It's time to shift the focus from others to yourself, and stop being a martyr.

1. Think of five times when you did or said something that did not truly reflect your wants and needs, in order to please someone else. Write them down. For each of these occasions, imagine how you would have handled it differently - to please yourself! What is the worst that could have happened? Write down your worst fears.

2. Look at your fears. Are they realistic? Are they truly terrible? You might be afraid that no one will like you, that someone will leave you, or that you will be left all alone if you don't say the right thing. That is a prison you have trapped yourself in, and it's time to unlock the doors and walk out! The people around you may be used to your compliance, but if they're not willing to accept that you have your own needs, are they really worth having in your life?

3.Examine your ability to set limits on others. Examine your boundaries. Where are they? What is acceptable behavior for you and what is unacceptable? Do you tolerate the intolerable? Normalize the abnormal? Accept the unacceptable? Do you know what it feels like to be treated with dignity and respect? Learn how to identify and label unacceptable treatment from others and how to set limits on their behavior when they violate your boundaries.

4.Consider the source. Many people pleasers were raised in environments wherein their needs and feelings were pushed aside/not considered. Were you always expected to anticipate, and to mold yourself to, everyone else's needs? Did you learn that the only way to receive a positive response was to do what others wanted you to do? If so, here's a newsflash: Not all the world wants a pushover. By focusing on pleasing others, you open yourself up to manipulation and abuse. You will never reach your potential as an individual if you constantly hide behind others' expectations.

5. Stop basing your self-worth on how much you do for other people. It's noble to want to help others, but it's something you should do because you want to, not because you feel you have to. The greatest acts of kindness are those done by choice, not out of fear or guilt. If you're doing things for others because you would feel bad if you didn't, is the action really genuine? Would you want others to help you under those terms? And, if you're helping others to such an extent that you are neglecting yourself, is that really wise?

6. Learn how to say "no." Don't make up excuses - give your reasons for not wanting something. So your husband wants his entire family to come to Christmas dinner, and you just can't face it? "I'm sorry darling, I find the pressure of entertaining such a large number of people intolerable." Your best friend wants you to go with her or him to a party that will be full of people that you can't stand? "No thank you, it's just not my scene." Start small - find something small to say "no" to, but say it firmly. Say it politely, but mean it! You'll be surprised; the world will not collapse around your ears! People rarely take offense, and those that do aren't worth pleasing.

7. Ask for what you want. If everybody's going to the movies, and most people in the group want to see a particular movie, but you'd rather watch something else, speak up! There's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion, and it doesn't have to mean you're making a demand. Simply reminding people that you're an individual with your own preferences is a big step forward. Even asking someone to help you do something will help.Ultimately, you must remember that no one can read your mind. If you feel that you do so much for others, but they don't do anything for you, maybe it's because you don't express your needs or desires. It's not fair to make people pry an answer from you. If they ask you what you want, or if there's a decision being made, put in your opinion, and let that be that.

8.Do something for yourself. Do one thing you have been wanting to do, but are afraid someone else will not like. Dye your hair, get that tattoo, get a belly ring, go on holiday....whatever you do, do it for yourself, and practice not worrying what anyone else thinks about it. Don't get caught up in doing things just because no one else wants you to do them. Remember that there ought to be things that you truly want to do for yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks, not in spite of it. Other people's opinions are a factor in our lives, but they should not be the determining factor.

9.Compromise. While it's not good to be a pushover, it's no better to be a manipulative bully or a reckless rebel. Don't become totally selfish. In fact, many people pleasers have low self-esteem. So do those who are selfish. It is best to develop good self-care skills, which include healthy assertiveness skills. You can listen to others, but ultimately, what you do is your choice. Keep a balance! Sometimes the needs of other people should come first. Whenever there's a conflict of desires, try to come up with a solution that will meet both desires halfway.

Tips:
Have an affirmation pinned up where you will see it every day. "My needs are just as important as yours."

Understand that kindness does not equate to "people pleasing", nor does unkindness equate to disagreement. It is possible to be both kind and to state your own needs. Don't label your standing up for yourself as being "unkind". It is not.

Anticipate situations where you would normally "people please," by thinking about what you want and rehearsing your "lines."

Don't worry if you slip back into your old ways occasionally - this is probably a lifelong habit, and it will take time to overcome.

Remember that one of the best ways to take care of others is to take care of yourself first!

Stop being nice to people that aren't nice to you. If you're nice all the time, people might take advantage of you. Although cussing is never necessary as there are plenty of specific and effective words in the English language, don't be afraid to cuss at a person if he or she does that to you. Sometimes cuss words are the best you can come up with or are the most effective/appropriate.